Monday 13 June 2011

Silverstone

Crusty as a camel's sphincter, the specially made short-track wasn't going to do anybody any favours. Just add water, and it was a bucking-bronco with wet farts. Not funny. A lot of usually quicker riders were dumbfounded, but while most moaned, Aussie upstart Tyson Nelson had an extra cheeky "this is going to be fun" look in his eye. He won the time trial, all his heats, semis, and in an entertaining fight with Aidan Collins, the final in style.
Grand Final
1st # 70 Tyson Nelson (AUS)........................450 Honda
2nd # 1 Adian Collins (GB)...........................450 H M Plant Honda
3rd # 98 Richard Mason (GB).......................450 Arrow Honda
4th # 19x Fabrizio Vesprini (IT)...................550 Guere
5th # 77x Alessandro Scalabrin (IT)............520 KTM
6th # 48x Vittorio Marzotto (IT)..................450 KTM
7th # 54 Peter Boast (GB)...........................450 Team Suzuki
8th # 40x Marco Buzzi (IT).........................450 Yamaha
9th # 93 Tom Woolley (GB).........................450 Pidcock Honda
10th # 30r Alan Birtwistle (GB)...................450 Honda
11th # 6 Marco Belli (IT).............................530 Zeata
12th # 5 Jacopo Monti (IT)..........................600 Celtibero RotaxIn the paddock we met up with Scott from Fuel Cafe Milwaukee - and Steve, Tim, AJ and Oliver, who were over for the MotoGP. + Lenny Bubble Visor Shuurmans who had ridden over from Amsterdam. + Dougie Lampkin and his trick team.

I hadn't planned to, but seeing as Co-Built and Skooter Farm were all dossing over-night to watch the GP stars racing on Sunday, I decided to join them, but didn't do the maths. I'm 6'3", the back seats of my Berlingo aren't. And although April was the driest ever recorded and gloriously warm, June is proving wet and parky. Wrapping-up in a table cloth fully clothed didn't combat the chill. I've had better nights sleeping rough on park benches.

At the crack of dawn, busting for a piss, I decanted into a small Evian bottle whilst kneeling on the on the seat; as it was too miserable to step outside. But then the inevitable happened. 355ml proved insufficient capacity. The receptacle back-fired due to a high pressure hot piss gas explosion (I think the technical term is 'piss-fart'). Not wishing to spill a drop I hadn't left an air gap. Trousers and seat were saturated.

Out in the grandstand everyone else was rain sodden, so it didn't really matter. Never realized how NOIZEY those V4 Desmosedici Ducatis are. Casey stoner rode valiantly in the wet for a clear win. BP

9 comments:

Nick said...

To much information!!

Diplomate said...

Sounds perfect - this is motorsport from the other side of the tracks, far more gritty and I'm sure you've noticed the rewards gained are in direct proportion to the discomfort suffered .......... ?????

Unknown said...

Excellent evening of racing.
Slept in the back seat of a 2CV on a road trip through Spain some years ago. Can confirm that the sleeping, small car, tall bloke relationship just don't work. Mostly pissed behind hedges though.

747 said...

bronco farts and camel sphinctures.
wish i was their.

richard said...

The average male bladder holds about a pint when full, yours 'jumbo parts' maybe a bit more.Newbie. Can't help but think this is a slippery path though; what next? bottles of piss rolling around in the foot well and a turd badly wrapped in the daily mail sliding around on the back seat? We know where this could all end up.

streetracker said...

A real wet weekend... Did I miss anything else?

Anonymous said...

a turd wrapped up in a daily mail!.
have you no street cred?.
a broadsheet or nothing please!!.

Bubble Visor said...

haha, great
just pissed my pants
it was great seeing you guys!
greetings from Amsterdam

McQmoto said...

Whilst frustrating for all the non-qualifiers the racing was great and a fantastic showcase for all the spectators who'd never encountered the series before. My "man of the match" was young Oliver Brindley in the Juniors. He was completely unphazed by the track and bigger rivals on larger bikes, kept his 85cc on the boil and rode like a demon - brilliant!!! The interval entertainment provided by Dougie Lampkin OBE and the freestyle MX boys was breathtaking. All in all a craking day out on Sat, shame about the weather on Sun.